The sermons we give ourselves are the most important. Those are the moments when we have to pull from the truth we have written on our heart and use it to fight against our enemy. The enemy of doubt, sadness, anxiety, worry….most of us have seen him and some of us know him well.
The battle I’ve been fighting most often lately has been against fear, anxiety and stress. There have been days I thought my eyes might literally bleed like some cartoon character. In my head I knew I was being ridiculous, but I had to preach it—preach it to myself.
Throughout the day I would find myself without words to pray.
I was too stressed to even cry.
I just buzzed about completely paralyzed-a useless ball of nerves.
And I was ashamed of that.
I became my biggest accuser.
You are the founder of New Hope—Where is Your hope?
Where is your faith?
Why do you fret?
Why do you worry?
What is the matter with you?
Then I had one of those days. You know the day, when you have a million things to do and all the stars in the universe must align to achieve it all. –Too many of my days are like that actually.
I put my boots on for the day, because some days just require boots!
I was heading up the hill to have a much-needed heart to heart with a family. I was rehearsing my speech and I was feeling very brave. When I arrived to the home I found the woman in her bed. Not well. But not ill.
I asked her what was going on and she began to fall apart--shaking and talking about suicide. She was a mess asking me to get the poison and take care of her kids--over and over. She was without reason and described herself as suffering from nerves. She was so overcome with anxiety that she struggled to walk. In some small way I related to her. And that made me mad with righteous anger.
Each time she said she wanted to die. I told her that was a lie.
“You don’t want to die. That is a lie from the devil.”
You want to live. You must live. You have children you love and you want to see grow up. You are a child of God and you have His word written on your heart--preach it to yourself. Fill your mind with His truth. NO weapon formed against you shall prosper. You shall be protected in the shadow of his wings.
You can breath in and out. May His truth be in your every breath…Inhale and Exhale His truth.
Father, I belong to you.
Jesus, you are enough.
Lord, help me.
Lord, save me.
Lord, be here now.
Choose joy. Choose peace. Choose love.
It’s all within you!
Call on the Holy Spirit.
Grab onto Jesus like a crazy lady—don’t let go.
He won’t let you go.
Imagine Him parting the path as He carries you out of this dark place.
I went on and on….Preaching it to her…. Preaching it to myself.
The sermons we give ourselves are the most important, but it’s never just for us.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.--Romans 12:2